Since you asked, what is M?
Day two of God knows how many of lying on my back after an ACL replacement surgery. There’s a constant ache right now, but I know it will crescendo to a scream when therapy starts Monday. My knee reminds me of my life the last while. I could get around, but my knee was clearly dysfunctional, and would sometimes really hurt and make it tough to walk. I know that while there’s some really intense pain ahead in the next few days, I get my life back on the other side of this little crisis. Sound familiar?
Hopefully this is a return to more regular posting. In Romans 12, the writer says to not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of our minds. What jumps out at me in this is that most people associated with Christianity seem to take an approach that looks something like this: don’t conform to the pattern of this world, but instead conform your behavior to what the Bible says is right and wrong. Or more realistically, conform your behavior to how your particular church has decided people should act….not always the same as what the Bible says.
Here’s the problem: the flip side of not conforming to the world as given here is to be transformed, not to find another way to conform. Transformation starts from the inside, while conforming behavior starts from the outside. When our spiritual journey centers around conforming our behavior as opposed to the pursuit of a path and a Person that results in real heart and life transformation, we’re left with an empty shell of a moralistic religion at best. What does a culture of transformation look like as opposed to one of “conformation” ? What actually happens in a transformation process? How is a mind renewed? I hope to spend some time blogging on this issue of conforming vs. being transformed as it relates to my own journey and what it looks like in the culture of a group of people attempting to live like Jesus. Any thoughts are welcome.
The other day my wife bought a Superman cape at a second hand store. When she draped it over my 5 year old son’s shoulders, his face lit up with a huge grin, his right arm shot up into the air, and he was off into the clouds. He flinched a little, and then said something along the lines of “I bumped my head on the sky.”
Today I was working alone on an apartment we’re remodeling. I was wrestling inside myself with the fact that I’ve allowed some of the dreams I’ve had since I was a kid to fall into a safe zone….I no longer think they’re as possible as I once did, and I now think of safe ways to get a version of them. As I thought of my son with his Superman cape and his arm pointed to the sky, some new song lyrics jumped into my mind, and then the tears started flowing. Where and why do we lose it?
Every child starts out with that amazing outlook on life that says they can be anything they dream of. Since we all have it, I think it means we’re supposed to have it. We were created to soar…it’s in all of us. But somewhere in the middle of the cuts and scrapes of life, and of the pressure of putting food on the table, we forget that we were born to fly. God used my son to do a little heart surgery on me today….to remind me that the dreams I’ve always had were not put there by me, and just maybe I sell out to logic and practicality too quickly. I guess that’s why they’re dreams. We don’t dream about things that are logical and practical….dreams are by nature illogical and unpractical….which is what makes them magic.
I’m thinking about what this means for me, and you’ll have to figure out what it means for you, but maybe, just maybe it’s time to throw the cape over our shoulders, slap a grin on our faces, throw our fists into the air, and let the One who put those dreams in our hearts fling us into the clouds. Let’s go bump our heads on the sky.
conrad
Not too long ago, my two boys, ages 5 & 7, came in from playing and began talking about something to do with the neighbor girl they were playing with, and then my 5 year old said that boys rule over girls. When we questioned him about it, he said his brother told him that boys rule over girls.
So we then asked our 7 year old what was up, and he said that he read in the Bible that boys rule over girls. Little did we know that our friends were having another interesting conversation at their house. The mom was out in a backyard pool with her son (good friends with our oldest) and daughter, and when she told him to do something, he said he didn’t have to do it because boys rule over girls. When she asked him where he heard that, he said he heard it from our son, and that our son read it in the Bible…..boys rule over girls.
So we finally got to the bottom of it….our son had been reading his Bible one day, and read the part in Genesis where God talks about the results of Adam and Eve’s sin. Part of the result for Eve was that her husband would rule over her….so boys rule over girls. We of course had some additional conversation about how God wants us to act towards each other, and how God wants husbands to use Jesus as the example for how to love and serve their wives.
First of all, I love seeing my 7 year old engage with the Scriptures…even if he gets it wrong sometimes…it starts with being engaged. Second, it reminds me how easy it is for me to take my own pre-conceived ideas about how things are, and then find viewpoints in the Bible or elsewhere to back up my own agenda. May I always seek to have my heart formed into the likeness of the One I follow, rather than try to conform Him to my often self-centered way of looking at life.
conrad
A long time since last post. It’s been an intense few months, including a family vacation from which we just returned. At a family reunion, I was talking with a cousin who spent some time in Turkey, and is hoping to return with his wife and son in the next few years. He and his wife felt that people in non-western cultures (they mentioned the middle east, China, Thailand, etc.) are much quicker to talk about spirituality, and are more open specifically to talking about Jesus and Christianity than are people here in the States. They felt like religion/spirituality was much more front and center in their consciousness and conversation.
My adult experience has been confined to the West, so I could only take their word for it. I know that people with whom I interact have frequently had a negative experience with the American church, and the religious right continues to represent Jesus in a way that doesn’t really look much like Jesus, so that becomes a barrier that might not exist in other cultures.
I also am daily confronted with the fact that our god in the west is money, and our religion is materialism, so maybe people in the US are slower to talk about religion because they already are very materialistically religious, if you know what I mean….they don’t think they need it. On the flip side, I’m finding that people often are ready to talk about spirituality….because the American money religion ultimately lets you down….but people are interested in something other than the form of Christianity that gets paraded in front of us all the time.
I hesitate to end with a question, because then the two people who read this will feel obligated to keep me from looking like I don’t have any friends. But, what do you think? Are Americans slower to engage in spiritual conversation that eastern cultures, for example? Are we sucking so hard on the money milk cow that we don’t really care about anything deeper, or has that milk run out and people are searching for something deeper?
I’m rambling so I better go to bed.
conrad
I walked by the refrigerator this evening and saw this card that my wife and I frequently refer to. Here’s what it says….
When any two people communicate, there is:
What you wanted to say
What you meant to say
What you said
What you think you said
What the other person heard you say
What the other person thinks he or she heard you say
What the other person thinks you meant to say
What the other person feels about what you said
What the other person says about what you said
What you think the other person said about what you said
It’s been a while since I’ve posted…we finally found a house to buy, and moved into it 4 days before I left for Pasadena, CA. It was an amazing week…a bunch of new friends, huge steps forward in understanding who I am, what I’m called to do, and what my future might look like. But my LA (Lower Alabama) isn’t quite the same….it’s back to reality, baby.
When I got home, my 4 year old son had just received a certificate from the public library (the library, remember) at the end of a story time program they run. The certificate said, “Thanks For Being a Good Listner.” It was done on computer, and it was signed with the name of our library. I guess we won’t frame that one. Anyone feel called to be a teacher? Looks like our town needs one.
I found out today that a tenant I was trying to help decided to set sail. She was out on maternity leave, so I had stopped the eviction process with her agreement to sign a contract to make up back rent. Mistake: helping someone who has not acted responsibly doesn’t make them responsible or grateful. She moved out owing me money, so now I have to sue her for back rent and get her wages garnished, along with two other people. If I don’t, word will get out that we can be taken….I want the word to get out that we’ll kick your you know what if you steal housing from us. Isn’t that what Jesus would do? Ever just wanna hit people? I guess sometimes advancing the Kingdom means getting ticked off, as long as you handle it properly.
Thanks to Alex and everybody in IMN for an incredible week!
It’s been unusually warm this last week or so, even for the deep South. The other day at lunch I decided to buy a hand dipped chocolate shake for dessert. I love chocolate shakes. I also love them thick…so thick that the straw collapses as you try to pull the ice cream up into your mouth. So I walked outside and, with great anticipation, took the first swallow only to have my mouth quickly fill with runny chocolate syrup. I didn’t want to take the time to have them fix it, so I just left. The stupid thing was that it took me almost 30 minutes to get over being bummed out about it. I love a great shake. I get really frustrated when people don’t make them correctly–or according to my expectations.
In the middle of being bummed out, I was hit with some sobering thoughts. How many times do others feel like I was feeling then,? Only they’re not feeling let down by something as trivial as a milk shake, but they’ve been let down by me. They go into a situation expecting something from me (and the expectation is realistic), but they leave feeling like the shake wasn’t quite what they were hoping for.
Here’s where it gets crazy. If you stop and think about it, many parts of our lives are lived and risked on the belief that others will live up to what they have said they’re going to do. Our jobs are often based on that expectation, as are our marriages, friendships, our churches, and the list goes on. As a father, I realize that there are expectations of me built into my kids to which they wouldn’t yet be able to give voice, but they’re intensely real.
I think it’s important to realize that we’re all going to make runny shakes for each other every once in a while. It’s part of the human condition. However, it would probably serve me well to think through my network of relationships…my wife, my kids, my business partners, my friends….and to realize how important a commitment and an expectation really is. Some runny shakes are minor and can be easily fixed. Others, however, are colossal and can wreck a marriage or a business or set a child’s life on a much more difficult path.
On the flip side, there’s nothing like a hot day to make you crave a hand dipped chocolate shake. So you give them the money and they give you the shake. And as you draw air in the straw collapses and things are as you had hoped them to be.
My oldest son is playing tee ball for the first time this Spring. Every game there’s something funny. A kid hits the ball and runs full speed down the base line…the third base line. Another rounds second and keeps running into the outfield. Tonight a little guy ran to second base with his bat still in his hand.
As I watched tonight, I was hit with how much my life resembles my son’s tee ball games. There are times when I live to my potential, when I run to the right bases, and when I actually catch the ball. But there are also those times when I’m feeling great about myself, and then I realize I just ran to third base, and that I’m actually running full speed in the wrong direction. Sometimes I carry things when I should put them down. Sometimes I keep going straight when I should turn. Sometimes I’m all dressed up and I really look the part, but don’t have a clue what’s going on.
I am also taken aback by my own emotion for my son as I see him out on the field. The sun’s late in the sky and he’s out there in the socks, the pants, the cap, the shoes….hey everybody, that’s my son out there. He doesn’t even have to make a play…my heart’s about to explode just looking at him.
I don’t care that he makes mistakes (learning baseball is a process, you know). What I love is that he’s fully engaged. He can’t stop talking about it when they win. He fights back the tears when they lose. He’s fully committed to this game. He cares about it. He’s getting better at it over time. That’s all we and his coaches can ask. Maybe that’s a little glimpse of how the Father who watches my life feels. Maybe life is a lot like tee ball.
